guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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