and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the day after is always just damage control
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
