her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
