Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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