I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
