I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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