Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
