shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
