I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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