"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
