If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
