..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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