I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
