But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize
