so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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