We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
