i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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