yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
