I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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