U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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