This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
