and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
