FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
