I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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