i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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