just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
sex in a hospital.. check
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
