your parents love me but you hate me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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