...so i touched it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
