I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
