he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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