You work out of a Hotel?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
