If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
