So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
