Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
