I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
