Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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