You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
