its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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