I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
