dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
