There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
