At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
