Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
