i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
