Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
