I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
