At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
