Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
