Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia

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(239): View more from Florida

Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?

(813): View more from Florida

Nah, just masturbating louder

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

Fav 14 4048 2100
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

Fav 2 2170 1021
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(519): View more from Ontario

It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.

Fav 5 649 886
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(864): View more from South Carolina

i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken

Fav 2 39 16
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