Im at strip club and am horny
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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